Sunday, December 6, 2009

Spill of being pathetic

I hate feeling like I’m alone when definitely I know a lot of people care and it’s me who keeps myself away. I hate it when I wanted to tell something but I refused to do so. I just think and feel like being not worth it. I hate it when I keep restraining myself of what I really feel because I’m afraid of what people think and the constant consideration if this is still right. I hate it when I feel like exploding of reasons I don’t know that keeps my heart heavy and peculiar. I hate it when tears just keep on falling and I end up with heavy eyes and colds. I hate it when my heart says I’m jealous but then my mind says I should not. I hate it when I miss them and I just can’t say I do. I hate it when I wanted them to be near me, but I don’t ask the favor because that would be too much. I hate it when I wanted somebody's company but at the same time I don’t want to give them my pain. I hate pretending that I am strong as I don’t want people I love be affected and be worried. I hate it when I know what I should really do but I remain the same. I hate it that I’m crying now. It’s just pathetic. Grrrr..

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

December FIRST

I anticipate a lot of things when this Christmas month begins. I’m thinking of getting a year older again (10 days more before my 20th bday), christmas presents and parties plus family get-togethers. Unquestionably, it is a month of fun and so much LOVE. So, starting today, December 1, 2009 I will keep track of the many things that will transpire each day onwards. I’m hoping to write as much as possible everyday. I would love to record all the memories, from simplest to the most complex possible…

The first day of the month fall on a Tuesday. I woke up early (well, I credit it to my working sister for it was her added responsibility to wake me up every Tuesday) so that I’ll arrive on time or even earlier. Our class usually starts at 7:40 and Ma’am Tetet, our adviser is very strict in attendance. She mean it when she said she will debar someone who will reach the maximum number of absences per sem. We’re all afraid of that, especially now that we are all graduating. Our motto every Tuesday: Be DILIGENT! Never be late. And so far, I’m happy to come always on time. :)

During the consultation time for our market research, she was very displeased to our submitted reports (I won’t blame her. Our group only submitted one company profile among 75 existing competitors in the market. Sorry ma’am for being too complacent.) resulting for us (Jenny, Yang and I) to continue our market research. We decided to visit once more Electroworld, a computer store and try our luck this time to get some information regarding their company. But sometimes, unexpected things just really happen. We went inside and I started the conversation to one of the sales clerk. It went this way:

Kring: Good morning ma’am! We are from Ateneo. We would like to ask for some information if you may allow regarding the company. Just to help us in our market research work.

Sales clerk: “Ay Dili jud mi gahatag ana.. Di ba ma’am noh? Dili man ta pwede manghatag.” (We don’t disclose any information. Right ma’am? We can’t just disclose any information.)

Kring: “Kahit history po?” (Even the company’s history?)

Sales clerk: “Miski HESTORY dili jud” (We don’t give information, even the company’s “hestory”.)

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattt?? "HESTORY". The wrong pronunciation didn’t sink in to me immediately since I got annoyed to the idea that they won’t even disclose history information. Was the history so confidential to be known all along? And here comes the security guard of the store who’s trying to help us but turned out a disaster. Why? He pointed us out and told us to try interview the bank next to them. Oh C’mon?! What has the bank got to do with our market research inline to computer stores? That’s terrible. Really terrible.

But along the way on doing our market research, the said happenings became a source of fun that made the three of us burst into laughter. That’s quite a unique experience. LOL

We went to Gaisano Mall and lucky enough to get as much information this time. We met an owner named Mr. Lee, who was very generous to the information we need and truly accommodating. Thanks a lot sir. Then we went to Mandarin to eat for lunch.

We get back to school at 3:30pm for our class in Computer Architecture. The class reaction: Bored. Sleepy. Tired. :(

Immediately after was our Economics class. When I said unexpected things happen, I guess it is just timely to say that it will not happen once. Yah! Another unforeseen thing happened. Our teacher got angry to our childish reactions. We were supposed to have a quiz. Since most of us were unprepared, many scan their notes and study (I’M GUILTY), some were bargaining to postpone the quiz, many are asking papers, etc. She had a bad experience already back to her first class in the morning that made things a lot worst. I was so guilty and I was scared at the same time.

I’m so sorry ma’am.

Well, I was really worried of what had happened but the day still ended with smiles and laughter especially when our group (Diana, Jenny and I) decided to meet and do our milestone reports and I unknowingly pronounced the word freebies as “preevis” and Jenny said “startid” instead of started. Hahaha.Again, I remembered what happened at Electroworld. LOL

P.S I had dinner with Pael, Donnie and Jenny